As the sun began to set upon a battlefield of fallen comrades, I laid there on the chilled sand, with blood from my chain mail staining it. I laid there, peering up at the sky. How did it come to this? I had slaughtered former brethren, in the name of my god. But… Is this what God would want? I pondered this question as my body started to chill. I raised up ever so slowly, my body aching as I did. I stood, looking around, seeing the bloodshed and decay that had been left in the desert. Then I saw a nearby village.
I headed towards the village, hungry and thirsty as I traversed the rough desert landscape. As I arrived at the decently sized village made up of brickwork, I noticed people were giving me odd looks. Was it my armor? Or maybe it was the blood staining a cloth I wore around my neck. Maybe both. Regardless, I got strange looks. I attempted to purchase food at a nearby food stall, but I didn’t have enough copper, and so I simply approached a brick wall, and sat down.
As I do, I look around some more, before I begin to give in to my exhaustion. Right as I close my eyes, I hear a voice. “Hey!” The noise catches my attention, and I look up. I see a woman peering at me from over a wall. “What’s with the armor?” She asks. Before I even gather the energy to reply, she speaks again. “That’s kinda odd honestly. Don’t see soldiers around here much. Were you in that battle that happened earlier out in the desert by chance?” She said with a curious stare. As she asked this, I raised up more, while she waited for a reply.
When I finally got myself off the ground, I spoke. “Yeah. I-I was.” I said as I rubbed my eyes. “Cool. Never met a soldier who actually fought before. Most we see are just traveling. Why’d you get left behind?” She asked. I responded. “I was… Was knocked unconscious by an enemy. Guess they forgot to check if I was even alive still. Woke up a bit ago.” I said as I stretched. She looked at me. “Huh. Maybe they just… Were wanting to pursue the fleeing enemy really badly?” I look at her briefly. “Maybe.” Then I looked away. The two of us sat there for a bit, neither of us seeming to know how to continue this line of conversation. Then the woman broke the silence. “So, what’s your name mister?” I hadn’t expected her to ask this, so it took me a moment to respond. “I’m Erza. Erza Horowitz.” I say. She replied immediately. Once she climbed over the wall to stand in front of me, she responded. “I’m Esther Cohen. Call me Es though!” She says.
I thought to myself for a moment. “Why is she getting so buddy buddy with me? I’m no one important.” I eventually responded. “Nice to meet you Es.” I say. I felt guilty for the next thing I said. More of a question really. “Is there anything to eat here that’s free?” Thinking back on this, makes my cheeks glow a red shade. But she responded. “Yeah. I can tell you’re hungry. Back at my home, there’s plenty to eat. My house is that way.” She said as she pointed to a nearby house. “Come on.” She told me, extending her hand to grasp for mine. I reluctantly grabbed her hand, and she guided me there. I questioned this too, I had not felt such kindness in some time.
Once we arrived at the house, Esther opened the door, showing me inside. She then took the cloth around my neck and placed it on a rack. I looked around inside. The house was a single room. It had a chimney next to the dinner table. She guided me to a chair, sitting me at the table. “I’ll have food cooked soon.” She said. As she dug through her cupboard to get the food to cook, she began to ask more questions to make conversation. Or maybe it was to curb her own curiosity. “So… Where are you from?” She asked. I responded promptly. “Up north. Where I’m from it’s more chilly than it is here. Hard to adapt to the heat. It’s a more familiar feeling towards night though. So that’s a plus I guess.” I said. “I see…” she said. “What about your home life? Sorry if I’m prying.” I responded. “I have a wife at home. Waiting for me.” She froze for a moment. “Oh, you’re married?” “I am.” I said. “She’s pregnant at the moment too. Maybe I’ll be able to make it back eventually. What about you?”
She found what she’s looking for in the cupboard. “I… Had a husband. He’s… Not around anymore.” I realized what this meant. “I-I’m sorry for bringing it up.” I said. After this, we both didn’t speak for a while. Guess neither of us knew how to continue this conversation. The silence felt awkward. But it’s to be expected after such a bombshell got dropped. “It’s fine.” Esther said after some time. By this point, she already had food on the stove. “Okay…” I replied, still feeling bad for what happened. “So…” I said. “What are you fixing?”
“Just some noodles. I’ve had them for a while, but didn’t know when I’d fix them. So decided to just make them to put them to use.” Esther said. “Listen, no need to feel bad for bringing up anything. I’d have to talk about it eventually. And you didn’t know. So it’s fine. Really.” I stopped once I heard her say this. “I-I see. Thank you. Genuinely.” We continued to sit in silence, but her saying this, lifted the weight off of me. The guilt I felt. At least some of it. After some time, my exhaustion began to catch up to me. I sat there, yawning and stretching some, and I suppose Esther noticed. “Maybe you should just go to bed. You’re really tired I can tell. I can keep the food till the morning for you. Okay?” She said. I replied. “Thank you Es. For everything. Giving me a place to stay, and good to eat. Thank you.” I then stood up, walking over to a ladder. Climbing up it, brought me to the loft, or sleeping area. I put a blanket on the floor, and laid down. Eventually succumbing to the exhaustion. And falling to sleep.
I opened my eyes the next morning and as I raised up, and saw Esther wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I thought to myself, “Maybe she has work to do or something.” I climbed back down the ladder, and saw food setting on the table in a container, which I suppose was to keep it fresh. I cracked it open, and began to eat. The first food I had eaten in over a day. I gorged myself like I probably had never done. Finally, I filled myself up, and was totally satisfied. I then saw my cloth, which Esther had placed on a rack by the door, was missing. Upon seeing this, I decided to step outside. I walked to the door, and it creaked open. Ever so slowly, I stepped outside. Covering my eyes as they had to adjust to the increased light of the outside. After making it outside, I looked around. Kids ran around the town, playing, and vendors in the nearby market had their stalls opened.
All while looking around, I was wondering where the cloth had gone. I heard sounds of water around the corner of the house, and walked in that direction to investigate. Upon peeking around the corner, I saw Esther on her knees in front of a washtub, scrubbing the cloth. Seemingly trying to remove the blood which has stained it. I stand there for a moment, before Esther notices me. “Oh! You’re awake!” She said, “Yeah, I am.” I responded. “I see you’re trying to wash the cloth.” This catches her attention. She lifts it out of the water. “Oh, yeah! Hahaha! I uh… Just saw the bloodstain, and decided to try and clean it before you wake up. A way to surprise you I guess…” She said, smiling nervously. “But, clearly I failed, because you already have woken up.” This catches me off guard. “Oh no no no!” I said. “You’re fine! This is plenty enough of a surprise! No need to beat yourself up about it! Thank you.”
After I said this, her face was aglow again. “I see. I’m glad.” I could tell it relieved her. She continued to wash as I simply stood there for some time. I looked around as I did. Seeing passerby walk passed, I saw a guard walking through town, I assume on patrol. This made me a tad fidgety. I kept my eyes on the guard, and I saw him walk to a fellow guard after glancing over briefly, they then walk in the direction opposite of us, Together. I wondered why they were, and I looked at Esther. She noticed. “What? What’s wrong?” She asked. I didn’t know what to tell her though. So I said, “Nothing. I’m just… I don’t know.”
After this, I stopped leaning against the wall, and I walked away, going inside of the house. I sat down against the door inside, and could feel my heart pumping. “God… What am I doing?” I ask myself as I look up at the ceiling. “This is just… Moronic!“ I said as I pounded the ground a bit. “Why am I acting this way?” Just then, someone knocked at the door, and asked me to open it. “Who is it?!” I yelled. “Imperial guard, please open the door.” An unrecognizable voice said. I stood, and reluctantly, I obliged. I opened the door, and a man with a full beard walked in. “W-why are you here?” I said, nervousness being noticeable in my voice. “Nothing really. It’s mostly a routine search.” The man said, as he looked around the house. “By chance…” he said. “Are you a member of the recent war?” He presumably noticed my armor.
This got my heart racing even faster. “Yeah… I was.” I said. “Huh. What brings you here I wonder?” I wondered why he would ask that. “I-I got left behind. I was knocked out in the nearby battle that happened out in the desert. Guess they forgot to check if I was alive. I woke up yesterday, and everyone was gone.” I said carefully. “Hm…” he continued to look around. “I see. One thing doesn’t line up though. As long as the soldier is still able, they are to remain in ranks. You seem fine to me. Why haven’t you gone to catch up with your unit?” He asked me, skepticism flowing off of him. I promptly responded. “I was hungry, and in the desert it gets surprisingly cold at night. So… I decided to stay here overnight. Plus, I was tired…” I said. “Okay…” he said. “Sorry for my prying. I was just curious.” He reached out to shake my hand, and I did. Then, just as quickly as he arrived, he walked out the door, waving as he left. I closed the door afterwards, and I fell to my knees, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief.
At that moment, Esther entered the house. “Where did that soldier go? He asked where you went, so I assumed he wanted to talk to you.” I looked up at her. “Oh, yeah. We talked… I guess. But not for too long. He left a moment ago.” As I said this, she lifts up her arms to show me the cloth. “Well, in any case,” she said. “I’m done washing it.” She said while she smiled. I stood, and grabbed it from her. “Thank you.” I said. “I think I might need to leave sometime soon.” This caught Esther off guard. “Really? Why?” She asked. “I just… I just need to. Is there anywhere I can get other clothes?” This peaked her attention. “Clothes? Yeah. Hold on for a moment.” She stood, walking over to a cupboard. She opens it, and takes some clothes out of it.
She then walked back over, and placed them on the table in front of me. “These were… My husbands. You can have them though.” She said. “Oh… Thank you.” I replied. I stood up, and walked over to the ladder, climbing into the loft for privacy, in order to change. I removed my armor and placed it on the ground. I then start to put the clothes on. “Hey, Es.” I said to Esther. “You can keep my armor I suppose. Can’t lug it around everywhere.” She responded. “Oh, okay!” I finish dressing, and climb back down. “Thanks for these clothes.” I said. “I have to get food ready.” Esther said. She then stood, and looked through the cupboard, and found soup. She began getting things ready on the stove, and she began to speak. “So… Why did you run in here so suddenly? Then shortly after, that imperial guard wanted to speak with you…” This caught me off guard. “I… I was just scared.” I pondered If I should tell her the truth.
I spoke. “Um… You know how I said I was left behind after the battle? That’s what I told the guard too. But… It’s not totally true. I wasn’t knocked unconscious. I faked it. I want to return home… And I don’t totally agree with the war either. I was forced to sign up and serve.” I said. She looked at me with a mixture of shock and confusion. “I-I see… So um… You didn’t want to fight?” She asked. I then answered, and the look I received, I will never forget. “No. I didn’t.” I said. “I’m not much of a killer I guess.” From the beginning of school, we were taught of our nation a lot, and taught that it’s our duty to uphold the prosperity and virtue of the nation. If we are told to die for the nation, we do. So most of us are very nationalistic. So it’s no surprise that Esther had a look as though I murdered someone right in front of her. In this case, the victim was our nation. Esther’s look faded, and she spoke. “I-I see. Well, I’m going to get some food in the market. Please, wait for a bit. I’ll be back to cook dinner.” She then exited the house.
It took some time for her to return, what seemed like ages. So I decided to step out, and I looked around. I walked over to the market to look for her, and she wasn’t anywhere in sight. The vendors looked at me, likely wondering what I was doing. My fear that she went to tell the guard started to set in. I stormed away, and back inside the house. I sat there against the door for a good moment. Then, I walked to the ladder, and climbed up to the loft. I looked around, I undressed, and began putting my armor on. I slipped it on, and grabbed my sword, which I strapped to my side. I climbed back down, and put a chair in front of the door.
Around this time, I heard a knock at the door. And someone spoke. “Open the door, imperial guard.” I heard the doorknob jiggle, and the door wouldn’t open. It was locked, and a chair was placed in front of it. I stayed silent. When he received no answer, the guard began bashing the door. I walked over to a place beside the door. He finally bashed the door clean open. And when he did, I drew my sword, and stabbed him through the gut. Another guard was there, and ran over, drawing his own sword. I removed my sword from the first guard, and the other one reached me, he slashed at me, but I blocked it with my sword. Our swords grazed one another, and after slashing, I recovered from my swing before he did, and I jabbed at him, hitting him in the stomach. My sword went through the front of his stomach, and out of his back. The viscera stained the ground.
I removed my sword, and I saw Esther standing there. She had backed against a wall in the street, and screamed. “Ahhh!” I gave her a dirty look, and she had a look of pure terror. Knowing that more guards would be upon us soon due to Esther’s scream, I turned away, sheathed my sword, and ran down the street. I eventually reached the end, with nothing but desert in front of me. I turned back, and I could see more guards reaching Esther, and seeing the scene inside the house. So I ran out into the desert.
I ran for quite some time, before I eventually had reached a large cave in a cliff face. I walked in, and gained a shield from the burning sun. The sun had begun to go down, and I laid down. I looked up at the ceiling of the cave, and I thought to myself. “Why do things always turn out this way?” I asked myself, as I rubbed my hands on my face. “Always… The blood.” I looked at my blood stained hands. Then, I turned on my side, and I ever so slowly drifted off to sleep.
The next morning came, and I woke up, my back aching from the rough terrain of the cave. I sat up and looked around. I stood, and decided I needed to continue traveling. Desertion was punishable by death itself, and I had stabbed two men. So guards were likely in pursuit. So, I stretch, and bean yet another trek across the desert landscape. The sand dunes piling high, and the sun bearing down. This day was more humid than the previous, making it hard to breathe, but I managed.
I walked through the desert for some time, with no one around. Except in the distance, I could see the faint image of a village. I thought that maybe I could seek refuge for a bit there. As I approached, this village wasn’t quite as large as the last. But all I needed was some food, and a place to stay if possible. However I also realized the direness of the situation made it plausible that my pursuers could be hot on my trail. So I was thinking maybe I could stay for a short time, then get back to moving.
I looked around the town, and saw a small market stall, the only big one in the entire village. I walked over, and saw a man standing inside the stall to sell. “Um… Hello?” I said, and the man looked at me. “So… Do you have anything I can buy to eat?” I asked. He nodded, and spoke. “Of course. I have meat, vegetables, and bread if you don’t have too much. You seem to be a traveler, so bread is my suggestion.” I looked into my hand, and I was holding a couple of coins I had. “How much could I get for this?” I asked. “Nothing.” He replied. “But, I can see you are hitting hard times, so.., I can offer a loaf of bread if you’ll give me that.” He said. “Thank you…” I said as I grasped the bread from his hand, and began to eat it then and there. “Hungry are we? Haha.” He said.
I continued to eat, and eventually finished. “Thank you for that.” I said. He smiled. “No need to worry. So where are we headed?” He asked. I looked at him. “Well, I’m trying to get home.” I said. Just then, I noticed some guards walk into town. “Oh no.” I said. I backed away from the stall, and began to run. As I did, I heard a voice in the back. “There he is!” He said, having spotted me. I ran back out into the desert, and continued until I got winded. I had run up a hill that looked over the village, and I turned. Looking back down. “They’re… Gasp! Closer than I thought they were…”
I looked over the hill away from the village, and saw a decently sized oasis. “Water…” I said. I slowly moved down the hill towards it, and I got on my knees after reaching the side. I drank from it, then I washed my hands off, and splashed it on my head to chill off. I then stood, and continued moving to hopefully lose the guards.
As I continued fleeing, night approached. I wanted to rest, but knew that I couldn’t. That encounter with the guards in the village really made it clear how close on my tail they were. So I fought off my desire to rest. As I turned back once I climbed a towering dune, in the distance, I could see a faint light. Which I deduced to being my pursuers. I turned back around, and continued. My legs began to ache, and I had to slow some to rest at least a little. Because if they caught me, I wouldn’t go down without a fight.
I thought about what my wife was doing. “I’m a moron…” I thought. “If I hadn’t tried to desert, I may have had a chance to survive.” Then, I gritted my teeth, and clenched my fists. “No!” I thought to myself. “I will get back to them! Whatever it takes…” I kept marching through the desert, as the stars were shining overhead. Dust and sand began to blow as I came against gusts of wind. I knew what this meant. This was the precursor to a sand storm. I lifted my cloth over my mouth to mask it from any kick up of sand. The wind grew more violent eventually, and the sand blew harder and harder. I knew I had to find shelter. And I hoped that the wind and sand would stall my pursuers.
As I walked, I looked around to try and scour the landscape for shelter. Around this time, I saw another cave on a cliff side. I crept inside, moving slowly due to the aching. I sat down on the dry floor, and peered out of the cave's entrance. I sat there for some time. Thinking over my choices. I once again placed my hands on my face, and groaned from exhaustion. All this running had been tiring me out a great deal. “God… If you’re out there… please. Please allow me to survive and make it back home. That’s all I ask of you. Please…” I said. My hope had begun to waiver. And somewhere deep down, I was questioning my faith. My faith in god. My faith in myself.
I laid down, still questioning myself, and praying to god. Then, I steadily fell asleep. I woke up the next morning, and I heard talking outside. I heard one voice say, “Let’s check this cave. He may have taken shelter here.” I leaped up as quick as I could without making too much noice, and quietly scurried over to a cave wall that I could hide behind. I heard them split up and go in different directions after they entered the cave. One set of footsteps came in my direction. As the guard passed by the wall, he didn’t look, and I guess he didn’t think I’d hide in such a noticeable spot. So, he walked by.
Then, I made a choice. I would dispatch each of the guards if possible. First one up, this one. I quietly creeped up from behind, drew my sword, and before he could speak, I reared my arm and sword back, and slashed. My sword tore through his neck, and went all the way through. His head promptly plopped onto the ground, and his body followed. The blood covered the cave floor. And I quietly moved away from the corpse, to move on to the next guard. I moved through a thin corridor, and steadily approached another set of footsteps that I could hear. As I tried to step up from behind and do the same I had before, I slipped up. He turned around unexpectedly, and saw me. “You! I found him!” He yelled. I tried to get rid of him, but he drew his sword, and our swords clashed.
He swung his sword after recovering, and I moved, but it was not enough, my right ear got sliced off. I flinched from the pain, but as he tried to swing again, I purposely fell to dodge it. I then got up as quick as I could, holding my right ear, or what was left rather, and I ran. The other guard arrived around this time. This one guard was more well trained and experienced than the two I had killed at Esther’s, so he was obviously a veteran. One I wasn’t sure I could win against.
As I fled, the two guards must have found the body of their friend, as they yelled, “No!” But they still persisted, and chased after me. Its a part of the military training to not waiver even when accruing losses. So as they were still pursuing after seeing that was exemplary on their part. But not good for me. Still holding the wound where my ear was, in severe pain. I eventually gained some ground, and took a moment to rest. I wrapped my cloth around my head to keep myself from bleeding too much. Then, I continued on.
I thought about the family of those I had I killed. I didn’t want to die, and wanted to get back to my family. I wondered if that’s what they wanted too. But I slapped myself, as I had more pressing matters. The guards were still in pursuit, and due to my injury slowing me down, were likely catching up. I fled for quite some time, and the wind was very strong. I could see a sand storm in the distance, rapidly approaching. As it came upon me, the sand began getting in my eyes, burning them. I had to raise my arm to cover my face. The only good thing this storm could do, is hopefully slow down the guards.
Unfortunately however, the storm didn’t slow them much. As I turned around, in the distance, I could see the two still following. They were definitely behind, but as I could see them, not by much. Eventually the storm passed, and I could stop covering my face. My pursuers picked up the pace, as had I. I continued to march on for some time. Until eventually, I had gotten tired out. And the guards were unrelenting. I knew then that it was inevitable they would catch up. I stopped, and caught my breath, letting my legs rest. The two guards eventually caught up.
“Given up, have we?” One guard said. I responded. “No… I’m not going down without fighting.” I said, as I turned towards them. “Very well.” The guard replied. “Ezra Horowitz, on behalf of the emperor and god, you are punished with death for desertion.” He told the other guard to stay back, and that he would handle it. “Honestly… I’m glad you’re not just giving up. It would be boring if you had.” He said as he drew his sword. “The name is Ethan Kravitz. It’s only right you know the name of the man who will end your life.” This was the guard who had cut my ear off. And now I was going to fight him to the death. I drew my sword to face him.
Ethan took the first swing, and I blocked with my sword. Our blades grazed one another. He recovered from his swing quicker than me. And he jabbed. I moved to the side and got a slight cut across my side. Not too deep however. “Argh!” I screamed. I took a swing, and he moved back. Due to the pain, my swing wasn’t well aimed. “Not too bad.” He said. He charged before I could recover, and took his own swing. I was able to move my sword to block however. I then swung blindly. Luckily though, due to the hast I had swung at, I slightly cut Ethan. Making him bleed. Making it clear that I could win, I recovered as quickly as possible, while Ethan wasn’t ready, and swung. He dodged, albeit barely.
He once again jabbed, and I leaped back, dodging it. I lifted my arms, holding my sword with both hands, and swung with much more force. I cut some of his hair as he dodged. I recovered, and jabbed. He dodged, but once again barely. It became clear how to win. If I don’t give him the time to attack, he can’t win, I realized that I should overwhelm him with speed. I recovered again as quickly as possible, and slashed, and this time, I cut him across the torso. He fell to his knees after the attack, dropping his sword. As I went to finish him off, the other one joined in, attacking me from the side with his sword.
I moved mine and blocked it. I was tired due to the previous fight, and tried to run. I ran away, but as I did, suddenly I got hit in the back with an arrow. “Argh!” I yelled. I fell over, unable to continue moving. As I tried to raise up, another one struck, this time in my lower back. I fell on my stomach and tried to crawl. But the pain was too much. I stopped, and grabbed one arrow. I gritted my teeth, and ripped it out. “Argh!” I yelled. Then, threw that one on the ground, then I grabbed the other, and ripped it out. It hurt even worse. I wondered why the guard hadn’t come to finish me off. But I came to the conclusion that he was likely mending Ethan’s wounds.
I crawled over to a large rock. I raised up and laid against the rock. I hurt all over, my ear, and now my side and back in two places. I looked over towards where Ethan was laying, and saw the guard caring for him. However the blood was everywhere. So I assumed Ethan would die. And so did he I suppose. I tended to his wounds, then stood and walked over to me. “He’s dead.” He said. “Congratulations. You beat him, Ezra Horowitz.” I looked at him, unable to speak. “I-I-I’m… Sorry…” I said, gathering my energy. Tears began to form. “I just wanted to get home. And I thought I had to kill it to do that… I’m sorry.” I said as tears streamed down my face.
He kneeled down in front of me. “That’s all any of us want. We want to get home. Ethan did too.” He said, looking me dead in the eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting that. I’m sorry that death is the penalty for desertion. But as a guard, I have to uphold that. And you’ve murdered four people now. I’m sorry, but this has to happen. He said, as he stood and readied his sword to slash down and finish me. By this point, I had accepted my fate. And his words gave me food for thought before my death. All any of us want is to get home. However some of us take the wrong way to get that. I took the wrong way. And as I thought on this, I closed my eyes, and he slashed downward. Splitting my head in two.
Was my god real? Who’s to say. I’m not in that realm anymore. I’m in the afterlife, but not a paradise nor a hellscape like what my holy book says happens when you die. So who is to know? I sure don’t understand what’s happening. To me, it seems like a purgatory of sorts. So, I suppose that is the end of my tale. The tale of how I had felt forsaken. First by my nation, then maybe by my god. But also, by myself.
The End
Hello all! Just wanted to alert all of you to a site for writers created by :iconskipwr3ck: Feel free to pop on over there and check it out. :D

paperparade.proboards.com/
Everyone welcome our two new Co-Founders!
:dance: :iconsparklesplz: :iconrreddvar: :iconbleachflavoredmilk: :iconsparklesplz: :dance:
I'm sure they will do a wonderful job! :D
I need to know if any of you WONDERFUL people
would want to be a co-founders of our group?
The founder has been MIA for years
And the other co-founders haven't been around much either
It's mostly just me
And I was just on vacation for a week
So a lot of deviations expired before they could be submitted
(Side note- feel free to resubmit :X)
It can be a pretty big job all by myself
Anyone out there looking to get an extra notch on your belt?
You get more exposure,
and the job isn't much more than accepting or denying deviations
along with the occasional accepting of membership requests
Please and thank you!

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